Principalities walking through personalities: the power of forgiveness

Forgiveness – one of the greatest miracles to overcome humanity!

Every one of us has made a mistake (sinned) at some point, whether it was against God or against a fellow human. To err is human. Usually, when we make mistakes, we expect others to forgive us, to understand our motives/intentions and forgive us instead of judging or bearing a grudge.

Extending grace

We tend to make excuses to justify our mistakes and bad behaviors, expecting others to consider our intentions and strive to understand why we did the things we did, extending grace instead of judgment. “Well, I cut that other driver off because I am in a hurry, I got places to be. I need to pick up my kids from school, they should understand that (even with zero context or explanation)”.

However when the roles are reversed, how often do you give others the benefit of the doubt? How often do you act in mercy, forgiving others for their actions instead of festering in anger? Trying to understand their motives and reason with them instead of passing judgment? How often do you give the benefit of the doubt, saying “Maybe that other driver cut me off because they have places to be. They may be in a rush because there is an emergency.” or “That person at work who is being rude might just be having a rough day”? When you are having a bad day you expect everyone to understand and get out of your way, to endure your wrath and forgive any hurtful thing you may do or say to them because you’re having a bad day, and deep down you’re actually a really nice person.

Dearly beloved, the Bible calls us to be slow to anger and quick to hear (James 1:19), meaning when a situation presents itself, instead of jumping the gun and getting angry, stay calm and seek to understand – ask questions, extend grace, give people the benefit of the doubt, show some mercy.

God gave us His son, Jesus to die for us while we were still sinners. Even when the people ridiculed Jesus and made fun of Him as He was hanging on that cross of Calvary, He did not break out of character and start swearing at them or cursing them. No, He still gave up His life and called on God to “forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34). Even today, we are still invited to:

… come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need.

Hebrews 4:16

As people who receive grace every day, who are spared from the wages of our own sins and transgressions, who are we to withhold grace from others? Be quick to grant forgiveness and extend grace.

When someone wrongs you, have a conversation with them – explain to them how their words or actions made you feel. If they ask for forgiveness, forgive them, and even if they don’t, forgive them anyway and pray for them.

Storytime

Years ago I worked with someone who was so aggravating in very many ways. She was probably the most annoying person I had ever met. It felt like she woke up from bed in the morning with one thought “How can I make everyone’s life difficult today?”. It got so bad the very thought of going to work and even just seeing her gave me anxiety attacks, I’d feel my heart rate go up and then a tight knot in my stomach.

Well, as time went by and she kept doing the most egregious things, I started to respond with passive aggression – doing things like pretending not to hear her when she spoke, ignoring her, saying hi to everyone except her, etc. No, this did not make things better for me at all, au contraire, not only did she get meaner but I also felt deeply disturbed in my spirit because I knew God does not like petty behavior and I surely wasn’t acting in love. I started struggling to pray because I had become bitter.

Soon I found myself praying that she would not show up to work or that she would get dismissed from her duties (fired) – that was wrong of me and I had to repent. If I listed some of the things she did and said, to me and to others, you would probably think like me, that I was justified in my anger but the truth is I wasn’t – I had failed to extend mercy, I did not see her through the eyes of God.

But praise God, I finally yielded to the Spirit and started to pray for her the right way. I was honest with God about it, I said “LORD, this person is giving me and many others such a hard time at work, I know I ought to love her but right now I am really really really struggling to do so”, I said “LORD, work in me and show me what you see in her that makes you love her still because I know you do.” and as I prayed, the LORD began to change my heart and then He started to reveal things to me about her and He taught me how to be nice to her even when she was not being very nice to me. It was a struggle at first but as I submitted to the Spirit, He made it easier and easier for me, and soon I could wholeheartedly say nice things to her and I even started defending her when other people talked badly about her.

In case you’re wondering: no, she did not change her ways but what changed was my attitude – I saw her in a whole new light and learned to shrug off every one of her attacks. I learned to repay her meanness with kindness and just say “Father forgive her for she knows not what she’s doing” and I meant it, I genuinely wanted God to forgive her and bless her.

See, I realized those were principalities working through personalities, devils trying to rile me up and clog the springs of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness in me, so that I may become bitter and unfruitful. But thank God for grace.

Through this experience, I learned I still had a lot of growing up to do: learning to forgive, growing in patience, and remaining true to who I am (the new me in Christ), instead of being swayed by the winds of emotions, triggered by what people say and do.

Interestingly, after I had this change of heart and my intentions became pure and just, and I started acting from a place of love, a motion was made by the company to dismiss her from her role and soon she was gone (for reasons completely unrelated to me and my feelings). I actually kinda felt bad for her but you see the Bible says:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Romans 12:17-21 (NIV)

Thank God I had come to my senses and chosen to walk in love! Had I not done so I could have experienced the wrath of God myself. By removing myself from the equation, I gave God room for God to fight my battles for me, it was no longer a tit-for-tat situation, I was the person showing love to someone who was acting like an enemy.

The recommended dose of forgiveness

In the proof text (Matthew 18: 21-22), Jesus says to forgive 70 x 7 times. That’s 490 times, wow!

Furthermore, the Bible says:

… Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

Ephesians 4:26-27 (NIV)

I believe that 490 counter resets daily, which means every day we have to be ready to forgive every single person who wrongs us 490 times before the sun goes down. Wow! No wonder the apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!” (Luke 17:5), because it takes a Divine kind of love, a God kind of grace to forgive like this. Oh, thank God for the gift of the Holy Spirit that quickens us in the things of God and for The Word that transforms us to be more and more like God.

In order to excel in forgiveness, we need to grow in love and learn to see the world and people through God’s eyes.

But why must I forgive?

Short answer: because God says to.

Holding on to resentment and anger can seriously ruin you.

How many times have you messed up because you refused to forgive someone and instead let anger take the reign?

One day, several years ago I was in a taxi on my way to visit someone at the hospital. It was rush hour and so the traffic was slow. At some point, a bike rode up beside us in and the rider decided to tap the top of the taxi I was in. This little act enraged my taxi driver so much that he decided he was going to chase the biker and hit him as hard as he could, hoping to severely injure or kill the man… because they had tapped the top of his car. And so began the longest drive of my life, the taxi driver hit that gas, and ignoring every traffic rule and all sense of reason started chasing that biker – with me in the car! I yelled so loud for him to let me get out of the car before he continued his idiosyncrasies but he refused saying he did not want to lose the guy he was chasing. What do you even do in a situation like that? I asked him if he was really willing to risk my life, his life, the biker’s life as well as however many other people who were just innocently going about their day over someone tapping the top of his car – A TEENY TINY TAP! Thank God he heard the voice of reason! See, this man’s first thought was not forgiveness, he was about to risk everything just to get back at someone for something so vain.

That’s what anger can do: it can take you places you didn’t expect to go and make you do the craziest things.

How many relationships have been ruined because one person made a mistake and another refused to let it go – people refusing to talk to one another because of something that happened or that was said years ago?

How much of your “brain space” has been consumed by the resentful thoughts you harbor? By the fights you have in your head even after the situation is over? How much time have you wasted thinking of the perfect comeback to something someone said or the perfect payback for something they did to you?

Years ago I realized that forgiveness does a lot more for me than the person I am forgiving, and anger does a lot more harm to me than to the person I am angry at. I have made up my mind not to give the devil the satisfaction of knowing that a personality he set up against me actually got under my skin. In everything, I choose to let go, forgive, and move on. Life is too precious to be wasted on petty grievances, I make the choice to be happy. I go to bed at night and have no trouble falling asleep because I am at peace with everyone, I don’t have to scheme or watch my back. What a blessing!

Prayer

Father, thank you for your word that teaches me and transforms me inside and out. Thank you for all the times you have forgiven me and spared me from the consequences of my actions. Lord, forgive me for the times I held on to anger, bitterness, and resentment. Today, I am letting go of these feelings. I am born of love and filled with love, love is all I have to give. Thank you for teaching me to love like you, so that I may forgive like you do.

To do

• Make a list of everyone towards whom you are harboring negative feelings.
• Pray for yourself and pray for them.
• Reach out to them and talk things out. Be ready to forgive and ask for forgiveness.

Anyone can make a mistake but it takes grace to forgive.

Affirmation

• I am love and love is all I have to give.
• I am lovely and beloved, I have no hate in me.
• I am a child of light, no darkness shall dwell within me.
• I am a forgiver.
• I am a peacemaker.
• Anger, bitterness, and resentment have no place in me.
• I excel in the gifts of the Spirit which are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, self-control, faithfulness, and gentleness.
• I am full of the Holy Spirit, the same Spirit that rose Jesus from the dead.
• I have the mind of Christ, and in this world I am like Him, spreading love everywhere I go.
• I refuse to dwell on evil thoughts and anything that is not from God.
• I am too happy to be petty.

Further study

1. Proverbs 29:22 (NIV) – An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins.
2. Psalms 37:8 (NIV) – Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.
3. Ecclesiastes 7:9 (GNT) – Keep your temper under control; it is foolish to harbor a grudge.
4. Proverbs 15:1 (KJV) – A soft answer turneth away wrath: But grievous words stir up anger.
5. Proverbs 14:17 (NIV) – A quick-tempered person does foolish things, and the one who devises evil schemes is hated.
6. 2 Timothy 2:23-24 (NIV) – Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
7. Proverbs 14:29 (KJV) – He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
8. Proverbs 19:11 (GNT) – If you are sensible, you will control your temper. When someone wrongs you, it is a great virtue to ignore it.
9. Proverbs 15:18 (NIV) – A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
10. Ephesians 4:29 (GNT) – Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you.
11. Colossians 3:8 (NLT) – But now you must get rid of all these things: anger, passion, and hateful feelings. No insults or obscene talk must ever come from your lips. ‘

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