Genesis 34
Dinah and the Shechemites
4 And Shechem said to his father Hamor, “Get me this girl as my wife.”
5 When Jacob heard that his daughter Dinah had been defiled, his sons were in the fields with his livestock; so he did nothing about it until they came home.
6 Then Shechem’s father Hamor went out to talk with Jacob. 7 Meanwhile, Jacob’s sons had come in from the fields as soon as they heard what had happened. They were shocked and furious, because Shechem had done an outrageous thing in Israel by sleeping with Jacob’s daughter—a thing that should not be done.
8 But Hamor said to them, “My son Shechem has his heart set on your daughter. Please give her to him as his wife. 9 Intermarry with us; give us your daughters and take our daughters for yourselves. 10 You can settle among us; the land is open to you. Live in it, trade in it, and acquire property in it.”
11 Then Shechem said to Dinah’s father and brothers, “Let me find favor in your eyes, and I will give you whatever you ask. 12 Make the price for the bride and the gift I am to bring as great as you like, and I’ll pay whatever you ask me. Only give me the young woman as my wife.”
13 Because their sister Dinah had been defiled, Jacob’s sons replied deceitfully as they spoke to Shechem and his father Hamor. 14 They said to them, “We can’t do such a thing; we can’t give our sister to a man who is not circumcised. That would be a disgrace to us. 15 We will enter into an agreement with you on one condition only: that you become like us by circumcising all your males. 16 Then we will give you our daughters and take your daughters for ourselves. We’ll settle among you and become one people with you. 17 But if you will not agree to be circumcised, we’ll take our sister and go.”
18 Their proposal seemed good to Hamor and his son Shechem. 19 The young man, who was the most honored of all his father’s family, lost no time in doing what they said, because he was delighted with Jacob’s daughter. 20 So Hamor and his son Shechem went to the gate of their city to speak to the men of their city. 21 “These men are friendly toward us,” they said. “Let them live in our land and trade in it; the land has plenty of room for them. We can marry their daughters and they can marry ours. 22 But the men will agree to live with us as one people only on the condition that our males be circumcised, as they themselves are. 23 Won’t their livestock, their property and all their other animals become ours? So let us agree to their terms, and they will settle among us.”
24 All the men who went out of the city gate agreed with Hamor and his son Shechem, and every male in the city was circumcised.
25 Three days later, while all of them were still in pain, two of Jacob’s sons, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brothers, took their swords and attacked the unsuspecting city, killing every male. 26 They put Hamor and his son Shechem to the sword and took Dinah from Shechem’s house and left. 27 The sons of Jacob came upon the dead bodies and looted the city where their sister had been defiled. 28 They seized their flocks and herds and donkeys and everything else of theirs in the city and out in the fields. 29 They carried off all their wealth and all their women and children, taking as plunder everything in the houses.
30 Then Jacob said to Simeon and Levi, “You have brought trouble on me by making me obnoxious to the Canaanites and Perizzites, the people living in this land. We are few in number, and if they join forces against me and attack me, I and my household will be destroyed.”
31 But they replied, “Should he have treated our sister like a prostitute?”
Genesis 34 (NIV)
Genesis 34 touches on a really heavy topic – rape. Shechem son of Hamor looked on Jacob’s daughter Dinah with lust and he took her and raped her (Genesis 34:2). As if what he did wasn’t bad enough, he went to Jacob with his father Hamor to ask that Dinah become his wife.
In response to this outrageous act committed by Shechem, Jacob’s sons used trickery and wiped out all the men of that area, and took away their women, children and possessions.
Lessons from Genesis 34
- Love is not abusive: To abuse means to misuse or mistreat. Shechem was filled with lust and he took Jacob’s daughter Dinah and raped her, that was abuse not love. When you love someone you don’t mistreat them, you don’t take advantage of them, you don’t force them to do things they don’t want to. Love is patient and kind, not forceful and abusive. When you love someone you protect them, you don’t hurt them.
- Parents don’t defend your kids in their wrong-doing: Discipline is an act of love (Revelations 3:19). Many parents think to love a child means to let them do anything they want without correction or discipline but the Bible teaches that there is discipline in love. Children need to be taught right from wrong and that actions have consequences. This does not mean you have to abuse kids, love is not abusive and discipline shouldn’t be either.
Shechem’s father found out what his son had done and instead of reprimanding his son and getting him to apologise to Dinah and her family, he went to Jacob and tried to smooth things over (Genesis 34 verse 6). Shechem didn’t even seem remorseful for what he had done, instead he wanted to take Dinah whom he had just abused to be his wife! It’s like asking to be rewarded for doing wrong and inflicting pain.
Proper parenting involves showing children love and teaching them to respect other people’s boundaries and to understand that actions have consequences. Discipline is an act of love.
- Apologies should be extended when hurt is caused, not excuses: In Genesis 34 verse 8, Hamor said “My son Shechem has his heart set on your daughter” as if that was a justification for what Shechem did. Having one’s heart on someone is not an excuse to rape them, love is not abusive!
When you hurt someone, don’t try to find excuses to justify why you did what you did, just apologize. Making excuses is just an additional slap to someone’s face after already hurting them. Extending a sincere apology opens doors for healing and forgiveness.
- Strategy in battles: Genesis 34 verse 13 to 17 – Jacob’s sons were enraged by what Shechem had done to Dinah and they wanted vengeance. They however realized that in terms of numbers, they didn’t stand a chance against the Hivites, they were heavily outnumbered. They knew that in order to enact the vengeance they sought, they needed to be strategic in their approach. So, they asked that Hamor and his men be circumcised so that they could strike them while they were in pain and unable to defend themselves.
While their objective was not necessarily the best thing, there is a lesson here about being strategic in battles. To guarantee your victory, you need a good strategy. A strategic approach can help you win battles even against big opponents.
The devil uses a similar approach to attack the children of God, he always tries to strike when you are at your lowest. It is therefore important to always stand strong the faith. Nourish your spirit daily through fellowship with God and His word. This way, whenever the devil decides to strike, you will be able to rebuke him.
- Justice vs vengeance: Vengeance is an emotional response to a situation, it demands that pain be given in response to pain inflicted. Justice on the other hand seeks that an offender be admonished fairly in accordance with the law so that the victim(s) can feel better.
Many times when we are wronged, we hope for vengeance and not justice. While it is an understandable response from a human perspective, it is not justice in God’s eyes. I pray that God grants you today the strength you need to extend love to people who have hurt or offended you and that the influx of His love will bring you healing.
- Protection for the hurt and oppressed: Dinah had been hurt by Shechem, this kind of hurt usually causes a deep distrust of humans and at times fear and self-loathing. It is just shocking that after that, Shechem and his father had the nerve to present themselves before Jacob to ask for Dinah’s hand in marriage. At that time, the last thing she needed was to have to live with her abuser but there they were, wanting to take her home with them.
Hurt people need love and care to help them heal. As Christians, we are called to protect the oppressed and bring healing where there is pain (Isaiah 61:1-3).
- One man’s actions can cost many people their lives: Because of one man’s actions (Shechem), all the males in the city lost their lives. Children were left without fathers and women without husbands. The women and children were taken away from their homes along with everything they had… all because one man failed to show restraint.
Be careful about the people you surround yourself with. Not only that, be mindful of what your actions could do to people around you.
- An eye for an eye and a toot for a tooth – not anymore: When Dinah’s brothers found out what Shechem had done, they decided to take revenge. Before Jesus came, that was the norm, if you gouged out a person’s eye they had the right to take out yours too and if you knocked out a person’s tooth they had the right to take yours out too. Revenge was the order of the day. But Jesus gave us a new law: love, expressed through forgiveness.
Reflection
- Are you gentle and kind in your love?
- Is there anyone you caused pain to? How can you make amends?
- Are you hurting? God loves you and in Him is found healing.
Further reading
- Matthew 12:29 [“Or again, how can anyone enter a strong man’s house and carry off his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? Then he can plunder his house.]
- Matthew 5:38-39 [“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.]
- The power of love
Prayer
Dear God, forgive for the times my love was not pure. Forgive those who hurt me too I pray, and teach them how to love like you do. Heal me of all pain and fill my heart with so much that love that every ounce of hatred and unforgiveness in my heart will be completely eradicated in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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